31 Oct 2012

Episode IV


Episode IV

It is a period of all-out war in the Heath. Rebel
spaceships, striking from a
hidden base (and sponsored by Sardmart™), have won their
first victory against the evil
Russian Galactic Empire. 

During the battle, Rebel spies
managed to steal secret plans to
the Empire’s ultimate weapon, 
DEATH VODKA, a space drink
so deadly and with enough
power to destroy an entire immune system with just one sip.

Pursued by the Russian’s sinister 
agents (and ECM drones), Princess Dian Lung races
home aboard her starship,
custodian of the stolen plans
that can save her former corpmates and
restore freedom to Molden Heath….


29 Oct 2012

The Dream of a Ridiculous Man

I have, over time, come to the conclusion that some of the most socially inept, hostile and overly angry people in the game are those who take to the profession of mining. More so when they lose a ship in a good fight.

I've spent a bit of my time in-game recently putting together a stable of good old-fashioned suicide gank Catalysts with the obvious aim being the generation of some nice mining barge killmails. This activity is a hobby of mine that I quite enjoy as much as one might enjoy painting a watercolour or a spot of clay pigeon shooting. Does this make me anti-social? I certainly don't think so. I like to embrace society and will actively engage in discussion with those who invite me to their private chat channels post-fight. I will offer them help and advice on how to avoid future ship loss. Instead though, some would rather vent their anger at me, which is quite disappointing.

I find that they struggle to differentiate between the game and real-life problems. But despite this I am always here for them if they need to talk.

The gank Catalyst is a remarkable ship that in its purest tech1 form can put a simple Retriever or Covetor to the sword  in brutal fashion. It doesn't have a point fitted so if the miner is paying attention he should be able to warp out from his already aligned position as soon as he spots me land on grid, or at the very latest as soon as I target him.

[Catalyst, Miura Bull's Catalyst]
Magnetic Field Stabilizer I
Magnetic Field Stabilizer I
Magnetic Field Stabilizer I

Sensor Booster I,Scan Resolution Script
Sensor Booster I,Scan Resolution Script

Light Neutron Blaster I
Light Neutron Blaster I
Light Neutron Blaster I
Light Neutron Blaster I
Light Neutron Blaster I
Light Neutron Blaster I
Light Neutron Blaster I
Light Neutron Blaster I

Small Hybrid Burst Aerator I
Small Hybrid Collision Accelerator I

Of course, not all miners are savvy enough to take these simple precautions and protect their valuable commodities.

This Retriever pilot in Aurcel soon opened up a conversation with me after his mining barge exploded due to an unfortunate sequence of events. I was primed to offer my words of wisdom but instead was greeted with some pretty nasty and vile abuse. I'm sure this man must be some kind of animal judging by his words.

Spelling and grammar has been left unedited.

Miura Bull > hello
Niko Trive > nice job you fuckwad.
Niko Trive > did the cops gank you
Niko Trive > I hope to god the cops ganked you
Miura Bull > I am a mining permit inspector, I am the cops
Miura Bull > I scanned your ship and did not notice the correct permits
Niko Trive > what you candy ass high sec ganker.
Niko Trive > bounty hnting is coming...
Niko Trive > you stupid n*****
Miura Bull > I am an officer of the asteroid husbandry guild and I am offended by your racism
Niko Trive > you a candy ass ganker, what is it like to be a big old pussy?
Miura Bull > I am afraid I do not follow ?
Niko Trive > I dare you to come back here and try it again dipshit
Miura Bull > oh I have your fine here by the way
Miura Bull > shall I post it you? or can you pay now?
Niko Trive > you can wipe my as wiht it bitch
Niko Trive > Oh wait, you will not come back because your a candy ass dipfuck
Miura Bull > 1337000 isk is the fine for clean up of debris, ammo used and paperwork issued
Miura Bull > thanks for your co-operation with this matter we understand it is easy to ignore your obligations to the guild
Niko Trive > I'll be seeing you again n*****, what your back fuck stick.


This pilot, who lost his mining barge and his capsule, again residing in the Aurcel solar system (there must be something in the water over that way), seemed to question what I was doing and wondered if there was something better I could be putting my non-existent skills towards. After issuing him with his fines and words of advice he then closed the convo after a final volley of abuse.

Lycarius Sato > thx
Miura Bull > good evening officer Bull mining permit inspector how can I be of service?
Lycarius Sato > you dont have to do somethink better than a kill people who are new in eve?
Miura Bull >You did not have a permit. I must uphold the law Sir
Lycarius Sato > get a life learn some skills and stop bewing a dick
Miura Bull > I have a bill for the cleanup here if you'd like to pay now or shall I mail you the bill ?
Miura Bull > it's hard work what I do, this takes a lot of skill
Miura Bull > hello sir
Lycarius Sato > sure sure...
Miura Bull > I am glad we agree
Lycarius Sato > what you talking bout clean up?
Miura Bull > the wreckage of your ship, your corpse ... I have to clean that
Lycarius Sato > fuck off
Lycarius Sato > c*nt
Miura Bull > excellent

He closed the convo.


I don't know what the answer is to cure space of these acid-tongued individuals. It seems clear that a cure might not be possible. Some might say an Impossible Dream.

With the help of great bastions of society like myself, and many others who enjoy the pvp element of the game and don't lower themselves to such horrific language and foul ways, it will be a long and hard struggle. A long hard struggle.


26 Oct 2012

A Clear and Concise Guide To Winning Local Smack Talk


Tuskers Frigate FFA Checklist

Frigates. Check.

Ammo. Check.


As you can see I have a lot of Interceptors to burn through. These were from an old stash I had out in Pure Blind which I evacuated some time ago into Verge Vendor, they've been collecting dust ever since. I hope to lose them all in glorious fashion this Saturday. Help me achieve this!

If I have any left near the end of the night I'll give them away to those who have ran out of ships. Hopefully it won't get that far though, muhaha.


23 Oct 2012

Insert image


Strange Tales from the Beacons #1

I admit that I haven't yet read the changes to faction warfare as I have little to no interest in it if I am being honest. Murmurs from others and from reading various blogs would suggest that good changes are happening though. Most importantly to the charade that was button orbiting and the farming mechanics.

I didn't jump on the bandwagon and roll an alt for farming purposes. Sometimes I must admit though that I wish I had. When you're living the life of a ghetto scrub pirate who rarely sees more than 100 million ISK in his account due to various factors, you do tend to see those rolling in ISK 'Scrooge McDuck style' with envious eyes.

But we try to carry on with our day jobs.

My day job over the past few months included the task of trying to catch some of these faction warfare characters. A frustrating game to say the least. Some of them were often genuinely good pvpers who often grouped up and handed me my ass back to me on a plate, that's all good, I like that. However, most of them were obvious farming alts, their only task to orbit a button and run away at the slightest whiff of anything on short range D-scan.

I have a few stories from this strange time. Here is episode 1.

Placid region is usually a hotbed of activity for faction warfare, a variable mixture of potential targets for the hunter pirate type. I was cruising around looking for a fight, my partner being an autocannon/shield Thrasher. I remember it was just after downtime so it wasn't that busy. I think I was in Agoze or Loes, I forget now.

IRL ~ I looked out of the window. It was just after midday but it was dull and raining, black clouds loomed overhead as the rain bounced off the floor. I felt that feeling you get when you realise how safe you are inside, away from the storm. You could say I felt like I was inside my own faction warfare site, nothing to intrude on my little bubble. I heard a crack of thunder in the distance.

I warped in on the acceleration gate, the same old drill--hope to catch them off guard and sneak up and cause some chaos. Or maybe hope that they'd take the fight and I'd die trying. Two Incursus and a Rifter were my potential prize. 

As I landed on grid they bolted like spooked rabbits and I felt very much like the fox. I caught a glimpse of them warping to the sun. I followed.

I landed on the sun and they scattered once again. Frustrating. I decided, like I do in most cases like this to simply wait on their acceleration gate hoping they'd come back. I landed at 10 and waited.

IRL ~ The rain was smashing against the window. I remember thinking to myself I'm glad I am not out there. I have a dog, a Jack Russell, who was laying next to me watching me play. Well, he was watching outside and he had spotted his prey. For anybody who owns a Jack Russell you'll know they like to bark, yappy little fuckers. I opened my door and he bolted downstairs.

OH Sh*t! The postman. What I thought was my dog barking at another dog outside or a cat or a bird or a squirrel or anything that couldn't invade my bubble of safety, it was the god-damned postman. The eternal second enemy of the Jack Russell, only second due to the fact that the vacuum cleaner is a mysterious beast indeed.

A mad panic ensued. I got up out of my chair and tripped over my headset that was still on my head. Wires ripping from the back of the pc as I faceplanted the floor. I could hear the dog charging for the letters and growling playfully as if it was one big game. 

The task of retrieving mail from under a frenzied Jack Russell's nose is no easy task. Sharp scissor bites can cut easily through flesh. This was a warzone. I grabbed the little fuck by the tail and he bit me hard. I grabbed a handful of letters but most of them were already ruined. 

The dog sat on his back legs, tail wagging and mouth open, loveable smile as if he was thanking me for letting him out to play the postman game.

I went to the kitchen and began the game of letters jigsaw. It took a good 10-15 minutes to put the letters back together. I also had a cup of tea whilst I was doing this. And then I remembered ... oh noes! My Thrasher! Oh noes! Did I have any implants!?!

I ran back upstairs ...

Local was empty. My Thrasher was still sitting there in full health. And then I read local. All 20 minutes worth of it. It was a big old scroll up the channel. It was hilarious. I was being accused of all things under the sun. I was this sudden hate figure, even though I wasn't there. 







I chuckled to myself. All this vitriol and all the time they could have just warped on down and popped my ass, podded me and then danced on the corpse.

Ah faction warfare people. I love you really.

Hi my name's Colby and I eat letters and I am scared of vacuum  cleaners and  I chase cats 'erry day woof.


21 Oct 2012

Tusker Frigate FFA

An exciting event looms on the calendar as The Tuskers host a frigate free-for-all event on Saturday 27th October 20:00 eve time.

Jovainnon solar system in the Verge Vendor region will be transformed into an arena of death and destruction for four solid hours. As well as the chaos and the killmails there will be prizes too (as yet to be disclosed), mainly aimed at newer pilots and young combat toons. This promises to be an excellent evening of fights. An open source of frigate combat and potential killmails on tap for a whole evening.

Bring lots of frigates!

You can read more about the event by following this link.

See you there.


15 Oct 2012

Tricks of the Trade: Emergency Backup Prober

A covert ops friend with the ability to launch scan probes and narrow down targets at your convenience is a great tool to have at your disposal. Unfortunately you don't always have that luxury, you might be a long way from home flying solo or you just simply don't have access to a prober.

This is where the Emergency Backup Prober (EBP) comes into play. An unusual device, unlike any other module, largely due to the fact that it isn't actually a module at all. 

The EBP is a small device that can be situated in most capsules and is roughly the size of a small toy handgun. The EBP is a mind control device that allegedly feeds off of space and time brainwave energy of capsuleer pilots in any given solar system.

Case Study.

Justice League member Miura Bull is, funnily enough, patrolling the sector in his Helios covert ops ship. Unfortunately for Miura Bull, his covert ops ship is rigged for battle and does not have a probe launcher fitted. A Thorax class vessel appears on scan and Miura Bull is confident that this pilot is running a nearby mission.

Normally, Miura Bull would move along and out of the system, as he doesn't have any means to narrow down his potential prey. However, down by Miura's left side is his EBP unit, glistening brightly through the lime-green slime of his capsule.

He fires open the EBP. A fleet invite is sent to the Thorax pilot. Scientific study rates the success rate of the EBP at approximately 50%. The pilot will either accept the fleet invite from the incoming EBP signals or he will reject it.

After a successful EBP fleet invite Miura Bull initiates the next stage of the trap. He already has a message typed and ready to display in the fleet communication channel.

Miura Bull > Oops sorry about that wrong button :)

Miura initiates warp to his fleet member and then immediately leaves the fleet. The initial shock of a hit from an EBP fleet signal, and then the closing of the fleet usually does one of two things.

1. The unsuspecting victims think to themselves, "Heh what an idiot, what was that guy?", and then they carry on their business.

2. They will warp off in confusion. Luckily for us though, they will usually warp back to their mission gate once the initial shock has worn away.

If number 1 is activated then we warp into the mission and make our kill. If number 2 is activated then we wait and bookmark mission gates. 

Either way, the Emergency Backup Prober has provided many pilots with kills that would be otherwise unobtainable. It is a great mind trick tool. Try it one day, you'll be surprised how good it can be.


13 Oct 2012

Joe Struck Delivers JUSTICE!

The fantastically skilled Joe Struck dropped me a mail yesterday with a couple of fine artistic pieces for my perusal.

A sweet looking corporate badge.

And a shiny new killboard/forum banner.

If you're in need of some new artwork then be sure to head on over to Joe's shop and blog and have a browse at his previous works, check out his prices etc. You won't be disappointed.

Thanks Joe!


12 Oct 2012

Getting away with it

I enjoy a fight win or lose. I lose a lot of ships as I try to take fights I probably have no chance of winning on paper, but this doesn't bother me. We don't fight on paper and there is always that chance. I'd go as far as saying that I even enjoy looking over my own lossmails as much as browsing a good killmail. I find it difficult to get into the mindset of the risk-averse. I lose a ship, I buy or jump into another one. Simple.

Sometimes I must admit though that it is nice to warp out of a fight that you shouldn't have taken in the first place. This can give as much of a buzz as any successful 1v1 encounter.

I land smack bang on top of the Machariel, with scram cycling on my Taranis it is soon pinned down and going nowhere. His buddy in the Cerberus warps off immediately. Settling into a nice tight orbit I begin to pick off the drones which have started to sting at my interceptor.

With the first wave of drones out of the way I start to slam some hot antimatter slugs into the belly of the beastly Machariel.

Then suddenly ... ECM drones.

I quickly lock them up, web and blast them as quickly as I can before the jam strikes me, a daring race against the dice. I manage to remove three before I'm incapacitated. I remain calm, the Machariel not warping out.

A Dramiel lands on grid. As he burns towards me I lock him up and prime my web, scram and blasters.  I eat it alive in what seems like an instant. Podding him too for good measure.

I manage to lock the Machariel again as the Cerberus returns onto the field. More and more ECM drones are unleashed as my armor begins to dip to critical levels as the Cerb hits me hard. I decide to switch my attention to the Cerb in a desperate and last ditch attempt to even the field.

I spiral across the sky, dodging the attempts from the Machariel to hit me, knowing full well that a good hit could mean it is toast for the tiny Taranis. ECM drones are chasing me but failing in doing their job.

I'm now living in my structure hitpoints but only just. The merry dance with the devil on hot coals, the fabled Taranis structure holding fast, the last line of defence of the Gallentean Dream.

Structure levels are critical, smoke is heavy and this Cerb ain't dying. I smash open the warp drive and make my escape.


10 Oct 2012

Serpentis Drug Outlets

this guide is no longer valid. 1/10 static sites have been removed.

Another great way to engineer fights and at the same time unlock the potential to earn some ISK, is to visit the low-security Serpentis Drug Outlets--which are 1/10 DED rating static complexes that can drop faction goodies and sometimes blueprints. These sites are found in, for the most part, remote backwater systems close to high-sec. Ideal hunting grounds.

Running the complex.

There is no science to running these sites, they should take you less than 5 minutes to blitz (only shooting what we need to and ignoring the rest).

The first room is accessed via an acceleration gate which you reach by warping to the fixed beacon on your overview.

When you land inside the first room you should find waiting for you a lone gatekeeper. Shoot him and then activate the acceleration gate. This gatekeeper will cause you no trouble whatsoever, in fact I often find he explodes before the ammunition has even hit him.

The second room consists of approximately 18 frigates. The frigate of interest and the only one we need to shoot is the Serpentis Drugstore Overseer.

Loot the wreck.

You will find the pass key for the next room inside this wreck. There is also a rare chance that some C-Type modules will also drop at this point, as well as 6th Tier Overseer's Personal Effects, so check the loot and loot all.

In this second room you can also shoot some of the structures. The Casino apparently drops 2x20 random trade goods and the Narcotics Supermarket drops 10 random drugs.

After looting make your way to the next acceleration gate.

The third and final room contains 23 frigates and an Overseer's Structure--namely, the Serpentis Financing Office. This has the potential to drop C-Type modules such as resistance plates, afterburners and microwarpdrives, and may also drop Shadow Serpentis modules, or, on rare occasions, a Daredevil Blueprint Copy.

Shoot the structure, loot your can and warp off, ideally with some nice loot in your cargo.

A nice and simple blitz.

If you're not in luck and the site isn't active or you haven't struck lucky with the loot drop, stick around and watch local and the overview for others who may visit the complex. Good fights are to be had, whether it be from those running the complex themselves or those out hunting the plex runners. It certainly makes for an interesting combat arena.

Explorer's Guide.

Ravarin 0.4 ~ Sinq Laison region

Ravarin is a dead-end system that is accessed via the high-sec system of Stegette 0.5. It is a couple of jumps from other low-sec hunting grounds such as Egghelende and Fasse, and is close to Amamake and the low-sec pipe of The Bleak Lands.

The 1/10 complex is a long warp from the in-gate and because of this you have advanced notice of what is heading your way. This system also has a lot of general ratting traffic and mission runners. Ideal for hunting in.

Gerper 0.4 ~ Everyshore region

Gerper, situated in the far north of the Everyshore region, is the furthest system of two low-sec systems that are cut off from the rest of low-sec by three high-sec systems. Although easily navigable in a frigate hull, care needs to be taken on the stargates if of a low security status.

A good way into Gerper (and the other low-sec system of Mya) is via the Elarel pocket. From Elarel, you will need to pass through Atlanins 0.6, Azer 0.7 and finally Torvi 0.5.

If you are of a clean security status then you will have no such trouble accessing Gerper, easy access can be found from Genesis, Sinq Laison and Essence regions. It is also only 7 jumps from the market hub of Dodixie.

Estaunitte 0.4 ~ Essence region

A station-less system accessed via the high-sec 'island' systems of Amane 0.6 and Actee 0.5. In turn, access to these high-sec systems is via either Heydieles 0.3 or Fliet 0.3. This system is close to the faction warfare playground of Old Man Star.

Seyllin 0.4 ~ Essence region

Situated in the heart of the Essence region, Seyllin is easily accessible from many high-sec pipes for those with a good security status. Connecting routes from Sinq Laison, The Citadel and Genesis regions make it a potentially busy system.

It is a little more difficult to get to from low-sec and with a poor security status but it is not out of reach. Popular access points can be taken from Goinard 0.3, where you will run a seven jump high-sec gauntlet. Yvangier 0.3, where the high-sec dash consists of five high-sec jumps. It is also easily reached from the other low-sec hunting systems of Decon 0.4 and Sharuveil 0.4, a four jump run from one low-sec island to another. I find that it is best to incorporate a visit to Seyllin after a roam to Decon.

Chardalane 0.4 ~ Placid region

A dead-end low-sec system in the far reaches of the Placid region.

Easily accessible from the Essence high-sec pipe but can be a little difficult to get to from an entirely low-sec route. The path to Chardalane via low-sec, assuming a central or southern Placid start point, takes you on an outside counter-clockwise loop of the far north systems that border the Black Rise region. After this you will then need to jump the high-sec system of Adacyne 0.5. This route has been known to be camped on rare occasions, so a quick check on the starmap for kills per hour and number of pilots in system is highly recommended.

It is worth mentioning that it can be accessed via a jump through Oulley 0.3 and then two more high-sec jumps after Orvolle 0.7, but the chances of evading the perma-camp that resides in Oulley are quite slim. Besides, fights can be found on the route from the centre of Placid as you navigate through a busy faction warfare zone.

Oicx 0.3 ~ Placid region

In the heart of low-sec northern Placid and the borderlands of Black Rise region. Oicx is a high-traffic system surrounded by low-sec pockets. Faction warfare zones and null-sec traffic makes for the potential of a system to find good fights in.

Ratillose 0.4 ~ Solitude region

Finally, one for the hardcore explorer.

Situated in the barren lands of the Solitude region and only accessible via null-sec Syndicate region or low-sec Aridia region, Ratillose is as far off the beaten track as you could imagine.

Happy hunting!


9 Oct 2012

Commendation to Condemnation

Browsing the notifications section of my contacts list I noticed the norm, nothing of any real note. Then some rare nice words from one guy, but then back down with a bump with some vilification straight after from another. Aah, bless them.


6 Oct 2012

Dreadnoughts Sunk in Molden Heath

Timing is a wonderful thing.

Loitering down in Placid region after a less than inspiring roam around the haunts of the faction warfare playground, I decide to dock up and jumpclone back to Molden Heath. People are x'ing up in intel channels, but it is not clear at the time what for. A rag-tag crew of fast frigates is being assembled and I decide to go along for the ride. I'm soon sat in a Taranis and plugged into comms.

The juggernaut himself pirate Warlord Protagonist is in command of the fleet. A few jumps into our roam we snag a Firetail that decides to pay us a visit at the poco we are chilling at. The end result was predictable. Not sure about that fit though.

We burn through Great Wildlands looking for trouble but all we see is a fleeing Daredevil speeding off into the darkness.

Now back to the timing thing. We have a few potential targets materialising as we sit idle at the back-end of Molden Heath, our Warlord Commander orders the fleet the long way around to our target destination. A few question this decision, but we rumble on as ordered.


A couple of jumps on and Sard Caid is jumping into Meildolf solar system in his Condor. On the lookout for frig fights of his own and unaware of our presence in the immediate area he reports a fleet of Dreadnoughts bashing on some pocos.

The Warlord's fleet is close by. Great timing. Sard points one of the Dreads as the others flee. In the panic to escape another of the Dreads finds himself snared on the poco, unable to free himself as the gang lands he is pointed and will meet his maker. Blood-thirsty frigates begin a death by a thousand papercuts. The black skies of Molden Heath are about to shake.

Sard Caid captures the fight on his live stream. You can watch the fight via this link. Start the stream at approximately the 38 minute mark.

In the end, and perhaps quite sporting considering the circumstances, the two dreads politely start shooting each other to quicken the suffering after we ask them nicely in local.

+1 for that.

Dead Naglfar 1

Dead Naglfar 2