17 Sep 2013

Hey Asshole!

"Hey Asshole!"

One of the most common labels that I see clumsily associated with piracy in New Eden is the term 'asshole', especially when aimed at the individual and not the profession. Now I don't think I have ever called anyone an asshole, not in life and certainly not in a computer game, and I don't feel like anything would ever get me so mad as to warrant using the word. There must be some real angst involved for the victim to resort to flinging these 'insults'.

But it isn't just in the heat of the moment, oh no. In general media, in guides and the like, when people are offering out advice against piracy I will see the term asshole used to describe the pirate on numerous occasions, almost in every article in fact. This always raises a smile but at the same time I have to question the intelligence of the author of these words.

Are all pirates assholes? How do you even define an asshole?

I think some people must believe that there's some twisted and evil anti-social freak lurking behind the keys, foaming at the mouth and waiting to pounce and steal their stuffs. Is it beyond the realm of comprehension to imagine that there's actually quite a nice and friendly person just playing the game in a different manner to the one that they are playing? Why does their playstyle make them an asshole?

I don't understand this term and perhaps never will.



  1. In my experience the most disturbing behaviour, vile language and impressive displays of e-rage come from 'the good guys' (i.e. non-non-consensual PvPers).

    Look at it thus. In this space saga we know and love, we are each the hero of our story. Where would the hero be without his / her villain as a counterpoint?

    We (the 'assholes') provide a valuable and necessary service. Sure, you could shoot rocks all day and count your pennies, but wouldn't you rather recount a tale of murder in the spacelanes, of near fatal encounters and breakneck escapes, perhaps even, of taking on the ne'er-do-well and beating him at his own game?

    Are we murderous psychopaths that feed on chaos and fury, starting fires and blowing things up with little to no regard to our own wellbeing?
    Well, sure, perhaps. But only (and this is the important part) IN THIS GAME.

    Do I admire and condone that kind of thing in real life? Most definitely not. I'd rather see such people safely in a cage thankyouverymuch.

    Believe it or not, some of us have jobs, homes, partners, children, and are generally very decent people...just don't spread that around, we do have a certain image to maintain after all.

    Remember kids; the real monsters live in hi-sec.

  2. FYI:


  3. I get where you're coming from, but you have to remember that for every noble pirate in it for the good of the game, there at least one outrageously bad and obnoxious person. The kind of people who suicide gank Velators after an encounter in lowsec to "teach you a lesson" and try to force you not only back to a medical clone, but to the bring of losing skillpoints and having no money left.

    That isn't an isolated story, either. The Eve forums are full of people who are all but chased off the servers, totally unable to play and being told "Oh yeah sure just make an alt!" But when someone has sub 3-million skillpoints then it's a big deal to ask them to not train that character.

    So there definitely are people who deserve to be called assholes in the pirate clan. But they usually reveal themselves in the moments AFTER your ship is randomly shot down in lowsec.

  4. Asshole doesn't really do it for me these days. In game I prefer the death threat.