1 Apr 2012

Introducing the RSOP (R1FTA Standard Operating Procedures)


During normal hours of business, the Black Rebel Rifter Club uses a set of guidelines known as 'Standard Operating Procedures' (SOP), typically referred to as "the R1FTA SOP" (RSOP).

These are part of a carelessly put together doctrine based on not much experience and is mainly geared towards a barbaric approach to life, it is intended to keep members unsafe and impart the knowledge necessary to explode as many ships as is physically possible whether that be our own or others (NBD), while bringing fights to a quick close by providing entertainment and profit value to the enemy, minimising frustration and providing excitement value to the enemy at every chance we get. To that end, the RSOP is intended to:

Give the enemy easy kills of helpless non-combat ships.
Give the enemy easy kills of poorly-fitted ships.
Give the enemy any kills of high-value ships.
Give the enemy any chance to banter or smack talk with us.
Give the enemy enjoyment from the conflict.



The RSOP applies to all members when the OMGWTFUNDOCK level is set as R1FTACON 1. While this is typically during hostile play-time, it may also be applied during peacetime under extreme circumstances. Peacetime is classified as the system being 'blue' to the Rebels, at this point pilots are encouraged to undock and kill each other.

The below rules are as unclear as they can be made, and if you require clarification, then tough luck, please make them up for yourself, anybody bothering a Director may be kicked from the corp. There are lots of hidden meanings, and anything not listed here is likely part of the RSOP but we forgot to put it in.

In the event you make a mistake, then you should brag about it in corp chat and bask in the praise, rather than attempting to hide away your heroics, as you will typically find joyous laughter and back slaps awaiting you. At most, issues arising from mistakes tend to result in the person involved being temporarily thrown into a low-sec top belt for their own safety.



You must be undocked unless you are...

...spinning ships
Nuff said, spinning ships is cool, man.

...chatting trash in public channels
You don't have to be able to speak sense, extra points for trolling. If something happens, you need to be able to communicate it quickly, or at least receive instruction for response quickly. Adding gifs or memes to your silly views is encouraged.



You must fly...

There are no restrictions on what ships you are allowed to fly during an active RSOP. If you don't want to fly one of these ships, then you must receive written permission from a Director (unless a bribe is included your request is likely to be rejected).

...ships with T2 rigs, or faction or better modules (the more expensive the lossmail the better cos faction on your lossmail is cool, man)

Tech 2 Rigs are highly encouraged. The shield ones cost shit loads and make you look all pr0. They also add a bit more stuff to your stats.

'Faction or better' means any module other than Tech 1, Tech 2 and 'Meta' - in other words Faction, Storyline, Deadspace, or Officer modules. Pimp that ship yo! Shinier the better!

...'Covert Ops' combat ships
These are ships which can fit a Covert Ops Cloak and designed for combat, such as:

Stealth Bombers-Lolpoints if you lose it to a Rifter.

Force Recons
The Tech 2 'Covert Ops Frigates' should be flown head first into the nearest gate-camp.

...Tech 2 BattleCruisers or Battleships
Command Ships-Fly into busy null-sec systems like a BAUSS.
Marauders-What's a marauder again?
Black Ops-Battlefit those Black Ops for added points.

...Tech 3 ships
Strategic Cruisers-Everybody loves a T3 lossmail.

...Mining Ships
This includes the specialised mining ships, such as:
Barges
Exhumers
Orca
Rorqual

If you really must mine, you should use any of the above and fit it for BATTAL, you MUST close local chat and the directional scanner, deploy mining drones and attack anything that warps into you

...Haulers
This is any ship which is designed to move large amounts of cargo around, such as:
Industrials, including the Noctis
Blockade Runners
Deep Space Transports
Freighters
Jump Freighters
If you need to move items, you should blindly jump into any system that is likely gate-camped. It adds an extra notch of excitement to your game. All of the above should be fit for combat where possible.

...faction ships
Any ship with 'Issue' in the Name.
Any 'Pirate' faction ship.
Any other ship listed in the 'Faction' subsection on the Market. These ships should be flown with reckless abandon and should ideally be pimped to the teeth.


...rare or unique ships
This is any ship which has been seeded by CCP for which the blueprints are not publicly available for, such as:
Apotheosis
Echelon
Zephyr
Interbus Shuttle
Primae

... and various others. If you are lucky enough to own something that was an alliance tournament prize you should fly it until it burns.



You should fit...

...your ship for PvP (durr)

This depends greatly on the ship and what you plan to do, but usually means no Mining lasers, cargo expanders or exploration (Codebreaker, Analyser, etc) modules, along with a Buffer tank where appropriate, although if you really are looking for a lolmail then all of the above are highly encouraged. For relevant fittings use your fucking imagination.

...your guns and launchers inefficiently
This means using faction ammo where you can. Remember to always fill your cargo with more ammo than you need, no matter what the ammo type.

...a Tech 2 tank on BattleCruisers and Battleships
This means your tanking modules are mainly Tech 2, such as Hardeners, Extenders, and so on.

...your ship for its role
This should go without saying, but it means the modules on your ship should typically cost massively more than the value of the hull (faction, officer). Tackle frigates should be pimped to the teeth.

...appropriate rigs
Tech 1 Rigs on Frigates, Destroyers and Cruisers are mandatory.
Tech 1 Rigs on BattleCruisers and Battleships are required.
Tech 2 Rigs on all T2 ships are strongly suggested, especially Tech 2 frigs.



You should always...

...check the Local channel for Targets
Check it before you undock, and keep checking it whenever you are in space. Bads may appear at any moment.

...dock up if there are no Targets
If you don't see a Target in space or the local channel, then dock immediately, no waiting. It's ship spinning time baby!

...smartbomb Trade Hubs when bored
You should smartbomb Trade hubs when bored, and harvest tears as much as you can. Remember, you can use Trolling skills at your own discretion.




You should sometimes if you're extra bored...

...use the Autopilot to fly your ship
Autopilot can be a fun way to fly your ship, especially through hostile areas, it actually flies for you! This can sometimes prompt the enemy to attack your ship giving you chance to retaliate and p0wn the noobs.

...go AFK in space
Sometimes it is TEH FUNNEH to leave your ship unattended for long periods when in space. Live life to the full and NEVER dock up if you have to leave. If you are a scout or picket and need to take a short break, warp to a planet at zero and turn the volume to max. Never announce to the fleet that you are going AFK.







Combat Fleets...

...must have at least two R1FTA members
Well stone me, who'd have thought more than 1 member would make a fleet?

...should have no scout if possible
A scout is for pussies. Real fleets jump blind 'erry gate.

...should probably be on Vent with the FC able to talk
Fleets should probably be on voice communications, usually the Fleet Commander should be able to talk. Alternatively, if you can type real fast it also adds for more excitement and added danger to your fleets.

...must consist of anybody who wants to fleet
The more rag-tag the fleet the better.

...members must be impaired
This means in PvP, you have as many active accounts logged in as you can handle, multiple accounts are fun. Similarly, fleet members are encouraged to be tired (sleeping is for wimps) and/or intoxicated.

...must split loot as they deem fit
Meh who cares about loot?




You can...

There are a number of things which you can do during normal business hours apart from hunting Targets. These are some of them.

...travel around EVE
Travelling is defined as moving with no cargo (opposed to hauling) and should be done in a 'Fast Frigate', Shuttle or Starter Frigate. Travelling enables you to move from one place to another, sighting bads on the way.

...set-up and spar at the R1FTA POS
Setting up overviews, practising scanning and sparring should be done at the POS, as it will piss people off when they land on grid with you.

...run fleets in LoSec and NullSec
Just because there are no targets around doesn't mean there is nobody to fight. Take a fleet out to losec or nullsec, and see what you find. Remember to follow no Rules of Engagement.

...run Wormhole Operations
You may run combat sites in wormholes. Most wormholes are full of bads, find them and kill them.

...disrupt Incursions
Incursions are hideous, filthy, money making schemes most often run by bads. If you are unfortunate enough to stray into an Incursion zone, spam the channel with gifs and memes.

...suicide gank in a group
This is best done with four or more members, with at least one of them with an alt scout ship - remember that most mining ships are piloted by afk retards. Ideally, all ganking should be done in busy high-sec systems. Ensure that all fleet members keep a lookout in local for any bads, and nobody should leave system without spamming the local chat with memes and gifs first. Don't forget to use an alt to scoop up modules. Recycle those gank ships!

...station trade
Err yeah.

...leave R1FTA until you grow some balls
If you want to, you may leave R1FTA until you feel you are more comfortable with our haphazard nature. You will forfeit access to the vast majority of forum content, channels, fleets, and you will probably be trolled through recruitment when returning.





Travel Advisories

Travel Advisories may be declared by anybody, and are typically limited to a specific system or region likely to contain hostile activity.
An advisory means that all non-combat activity should cease and all pilots should head over unless they are ship spinning. Travel into or out of the advisory area should be done blindly and with all guns blazing.
Once the threat has been eliminated or you are in your clone bay or capsule, the Travel Advisory may be closed.




Practice and Patrols

All R1FTA members are encouraged to practice the RSOP at all times, even when there are no targets immediately available.
This can include (but is not limited to) sparring in space, patrolling high-traffic areas for bads, as well as practising fleet command and movement skills.
Members are also encouraged to keep a look-out for any other members who may not be following the RSOP, and are authorised to tackle any they encounter being a bad.
R1FTA Directors are authorised to order a single shot to be fired to 'wake up' a member who appears to be  being a bad or is inattentive, followed by the potential destruction of their ship FOR TEH LULZ.
No time will be given before any actions are taken, and in the event an inattentive members ship is destroyed, the wreck should be destroyed too, and the killmail laughed at.




Why?

Because we are not Vogons.





MB.








8 comments:

  1. lol, you made tea come down my nose!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Got the excess ammo one covered boss

    http://vincent.killmail.org/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=12830402

    derp

    ReplyDelete
  3. If only everyone else would follow RSOP, eve would be a better place...

    ReplyDelete
  4. ... yeah fuck rvb, where do I sign up?

    ReplyDelete
  5. See, see the R1FTA skies
    Marvel at their lawless depths
    Inhale deeply the tantalizing Tortuga aroma
    That would make a hi sec dragon's nostrils
    Instantly spout jowling meated liverslime.

    Tell me, Miura Bull. You,
    The great leader who rules these R1FTA skies with shaded eyes
    And bloodstained claws, do you
    Wonder why the Carebears try to ignore you?
    Why their foobly stares
    Reveal their gutless betrayel of TEH LULZ?

    I can tell you, the Carebears are
    Terrified by your brutal Corporate expansion
    Your pilots’ drunken thirst for blood
    Is haunting their worst nightmares
    Keeping them trapped in fear
    Like spaceworms
    Slowly drowning in a hollow skull
    Full of fluebel juice.

    And over the roaring engines of your mighty Rifters
    You will hear the Missioners
    Groveling and begging the traders of moon goo to hide them
    In the deepest pit
    Of a secret wormhole
    Yet to be discovered.

    What's more,
    They already know
    Of your RSOP (R1FTA Standard Operating Procedures)
    Signaled by the smoke
    Of your thousand whiskey-soaked Cuban Gigantes.

    Now every whining Carebear, wailing Missioner, and wimpering Anti-pirate
    Under the all-embracing R1FTA sky
    Desperately asks why,
    Why are you not Vogons?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I went AFK in space boss! What a rush!! Wait,foobly??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. --Wait,foobly??

      According to urbandictionary.com a Fooble could mean a feeble fool, someone who is so weak and lethargic that they look like a bumbling idiot. Vogons use this as "foobly".

      Anyway, this was my first attempt at Vogon poetry, the third worst poetry in the Universe. Not so easy to score well on the Vogon Gross Scale!

      Lao Mah

      Delete