3 Oct 2013


I'm sure at some point in time we've all crossed swords with an Excuse Monkey. It's now time to name and shame and reveal the best excuses that you've seen during your eve playtime.

Here are a few to get us started that were collected recently by [SKRMR] pilots.


Miura Bull > gf

Brignola1 > not really wasnt even on eve at the time was minimized

Okay. Even though I literally just followed you in warp to the acceleration gate from the stargate.


Death ToU > GF buddy

Excuse Monkey > not really I just hit orbit and carried on with my work

He was seen aligning to the sun.



Death ToU > GF buddy

CptGondar > GF lol I was afk U noob

Death ToU > yeah cheers gf


Reciprocrat > gf
Yung Fu'Dans > no
Yung Fu'Dans > it wasnt
Yung Fu'Dans > lol  I didnt load my tank
Yung Fu-Dans > you got lucky

Reciprocrat states that the funny part was he was giving a GF to someone else and never even saw this guy.


It always amazes me how people churn out these excuses. Do you have any to share?



  1. Death ToU: GF Buddy
    Excuse Monkey: meh gf I was busy doing other things
    Death ToU: yeah me too I was doing the dishes
    Death ToU: and painting the fence

  2. Long one but worth it for Rote Kapelle member in disbelief that a scrub could scram him.

    [01:53:21] EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Ouelletta
    [01:59:53] StevieTopSiders > hacker
    [01:59:54] StevieTopSiders > quit hacking
    [01:59:57] StevieTopSiders > fucking cheater
    [01:59:58] StevieTopSiders > reported
    [02:00:00] StevieTopSiders > for hacking
    [02:00:02] StevieTopSiders > enjoy your ban
    [02:00:03] StevieTopSiders > o6
    [02:00:07] Ri'an Tivianne > MAD HAXXXSSSS
    [02:00:31] Kelleris > gf
    [02:00:36] StevieTopSiders > fucking hacker
    [02:00:38] StevieTopSiders > wasn't a good fight
    [02:00:40] StevieTopSiders > you hacked
    [02:00:44] StevieTopSiders > scrammed me at 20km
    [02:00:45] Kelleris > wtf
    [02:00:50] Kelleris > no i didnt
    [02:00:53] StevieTopSiders > yeah you did
    [02:00:55] StevieTopSiders > hacker
    [02:00:58] Kelleris > u r a retard and flew w/in 10k
    [02:01:01] Ri'an Tivianne > LOL
    [02:01:03] StevieTopSiders > not true
    [02:01:04] Kelleris > not my fault you fail
    [02:01:06] StevieTopSiders > u hacked
    [02:01:09] StevieTopSiders > I was manually piloting
    [02:01:12] Kelleris > fine, report me then
    [02:01:12] StevieTopSiders > no way I got in range
    [02:01:14] StevieTopSiders > you hacked
    [02:01:16] Ri'an Tivianne > mmm... sweet tears
    [02:01:24] StevieTopSiders > sorry that some people use skill
    [02:01:26] Kelleris > you prob bumped off the gate like a noob
    [02:01:27] StevieTopSiders > instead of client injectino
    [02:01:28] StevieTopSiders > to win
    [02:01:41] StevieTopSiders > your a noob
    [02:01:42] StevieTopSiders > and a hacker
    [02:01:46] StevieTopSiders > cus only a noob would hack
    [02:01:50] StevieTopSiders > nice try though
    [02:01:54] StevieTopSiders > now I'll know never to fight you again
    [02:01:56] Kelleris > ok. well put in a petition then
    [02:01:57] StevieTopSiders > o6
    [02:01:58] Kelleris > ok
    [02:02:03] Kelleris > pls report me
    [02:02:19] Kelleris my CEO is Rixx Javix
    [02:03:23] Ri'an Tivianne > that was so full of win
    [02:03:28] Kelleris > for sure
    [02:03:33] Ri'an Tivianne > good job Kelleris
    [02:03:45] Kelleris > that retard hit orbit and i bounced him off of the gate
    [02:03:50] Kelleris > thank you sir o7
    [02:04:17] Ri'an Tivianne > o7
    [02:05:15] Kelleris it happed alot like the great station bumping incident of 2012 Kill: GenAtal (Republic Fleet Firetail)
    [02:05:17] Kelleris > LOL
    [02:05:40] Kelleris > doesnt matter how fast your ship is if you hit a solid object
    [02:05:48] Ri'an Tivianne > lol that will teach him to just slap the orbit button
    [02:05:56] Kelleris > no it wont
    [02:06:02] Kelleris > apparently i hacked
    [02:06:04] Ri'an Tivianne > nice tactic, I wouldn't have thought of that in a million years
    [02:06:06] Kelleris > hes blameless
    [02:06:18] Ri'an Tivianne > you can bet your ass I am gonna try it when I get a chance though lol
    [02:06:30] Kelleris > actually this time is was an accident, but that retard doesnt need to know
    [02:06:36] Kelleris > ;-P

    Result: LOL
    Kill: StevieTopSiders (Taranis)