21 Jul 2011

Where Did All The Heroes Go? (Musings on Quitting EVE)

The first time in space and the sudden realization of the endless adventure that lies before you is forgotten in that moment of despair as you walk away from the game. I'm sure everybody can relate to those first steps out into the harsh world that we know and love. Stumbling into low-security space for the first time in that toon that you rolled a few months before your 'main', when you didn't have a clue what you was doing and fitting up a ship was like dipping into the lucky dip bag of some corporation's junk hangar.

Frustrating, for sure, but back then the game grabbed you and hit you hard like a drug, you craved more, you wanted to learn and understand how the professionals did their business in such a mesmerizing fashion. I remember those days with fond memories. I hope some of you out there can relate to being the total noob and wandering around all starry-eyed, losing embarrassingly and trying to work out just exactly how that flashy guy in a frigate just destroyed your cruiser that had every type of gun and ammo type loaded. How was this possible you pondered. But still you came back and learned from the actions and experiences as the game continued to infest your inner being.

Those who quit the game through tiredness and boredom need to find that feeling again, that excitement that can flow, the adrenalin that can kick in and that rush of blood where your heart pumps so loudly that it feels like it is going to pop out of your chest right in front of you. If you've played EVE and haven't yet experienced the feelings above then you haven't really played EVE.

There are ways to grab that feeling back and to fight the burnout and come back stronger. A break from EVE can do the world of good, starting afresh can also reignite your passion, cutting loose from old friends (or enemies) and coming back as the new guy has been a proven formula in the past. Coming back to the game and doing something totally different to what you did previously can also boost your desires.

How and indeed if people go about getting the excitement back is their call and open to debate. There's a few famous names that need no mention in here, whether some of them return remains to be seen. Some have been gone that long the answer is probably already out there. Personally speaking, some names occasionally crop up and get me thinking about what they are up to now, some were close friends, some were enemies, some I didn't even know that well but we'd always cross paths, some maybe even still play but are far removed from my current in-game lifestyle that we have perhaps drifted apart.

Some were heroes, but where did they all go?


Biggerguns was the founder of Pyrotechnics Inc. A piracy corporation that accepted newbies and took them all the way down to -10. This guy was a really good pilot, a bad-ass mean looking Brutor guy with shades and a shaved head .... he'd just sit out in Amamake and take on everybody in his Rifter, he was, to me like a fucking daddy in that frigate and inspired me that much that I stole his bio tag-line of 'Mess with the bull, you get the horns'. That line just summed the guy up perfectly.
Then one day he bio-massed his toon, just like that. Nursultan who was a new director at the time took over the reigns and he is still running the corp to this day. I have fond memories of Pyro, living in Amamake and the fun that followed. Sadly I'll always remember the day that 'guns left the game.
I'd also add that I knew of a new character that he had rolled previously, however that character blocked all attempts at contact and although I occasionally looked out for his killmails and the corporations he was in, time lapsed and I stopped wondering. Out of respect I won't reveal his character name here.


Another of the original Pyro director crew. I was good friends with Kao and I remember him fondly, his deep Irish accent still rings in my ear from time to time haunting me. In real life he was a crazy looking tattooist, I can see him now on his website in the pictures he used to always link of his ink skills. Then one day he left Pyro to run an alt corp with one of my alts, and then never logged in again.
Spookily there is a guy who hangs around in Molden Heath, I heard him on vent and thought he sounded so much like Kao that it must be him! I never did ask if it was, it probably wasn't, but still.


Sadin was again a member of Pyro. He was one of the newbs, and my god he was a newb. I remember one time he shouted on vent that he had pointed one of those Heretic guys in his Rifter ..... so in I warped to find his frozen corpse and a flashy Zealot awaiting me. Good times.
However, Sadin went away from the game for a few months and then returned a new man. He had learnt the ropes and he now knew what he was doing and he did it well. I encouraged him to join The Tuskers, and he did, he got accepted but real life issues cropped up and he kept saying he'd be back but he never did make it back properly. The last I heard he was fixing up his pc on vent and complaining that storms were in his area and his connection was poor. He got abruptly disconnected mid-sentence and that was it. Gone. Hope he's ok, lol.

In memory I have copy/pasted his bio as it always used to make me smile.

you cant see me, you cant see me, neither can he, no one can see me... O_O

Romeo Blakstorm.

Sold his soul to the devil to pay for a new life of crime. Makes me shudder looking at him now, he's not the old Romeo I remember. The dirty Amarrian that he was. Another ex-Tusker and Pyro guy.

Geaux Tiger.

This guy was a cool Tusker. I remember his old photograph, his ginger beard and grizzled appearance struck me in a weird kind of way. He just looked like a boss. This is real life not in-game. But in-game he also was someone I looked up to. I loved his blog and remember reading about his Tengu he purchased when they first rolled out and how he nearly lost it in an instant to Sleepers.
He doesn't have a bio picture now so I will assume he has left the game for good.

Andy Derbyshire.

Remember me mentioning that toon that we all experimented with? Well Andy Derbyshire was a good friend of my original toon, we set up this really bad corporation together, and I mean really bad. We would have our own security wing which when I look back now is everything that sums up a noob corp in this game, badly fitted bc's in week old toons and bad, bad fits. We got smoked mostly, well all the time but Andy was a cool guy.
He emailed me some corp details once and I was very surprised to notice that his email address was from the school down the road from mine, we went to 'enemy' schools in the same town, for the want of a better description. I never did mention that we lived in the same town. I should have done really but didn't want a situation where this crazy dude might turn up at my house one day to talk about spaceships and I guess he might have felt the same way. He was another who never logged into the game after going on a break.


Back in the early days with that toon again. Sinferis was the veteran player who joined our nooby corp along with his friend who never ever spoke. Looking back now I think it was his alt. How funny that the noob doesn't pick up on these little things at the time.
Sinferis was this really cool French dude who would fly around in Navy Megathron's and he would just give off this aura of being a really good player, he talked the talk. Then one day I looked at his battleclinic record and it read 10 kills to 11 losses. It was a sad realization and I kind of felt duped somewhat. I also remember he was in the French Army and I always had to resist from cracking the obvious jokes to him.
Another pilot who has no portrait and hasn't logged in for months, perhaps years.

There are perhaps more out there, I can't think too hard about it as it would turn into an epic journal of sorts. All I'd say is to those who get that feeling that they might want to walk away, don't become another name lost in the murky waters of bio-massed toons and blank faces. Stick with it and become the hero and stay in that place.

That place is logged-in.



  1. Nice read, I've only been in EVE since '08, but it's a very familiar thing, that thought of; 'gee, I wonder whatever happened too...'

  2. This is an article close to my heart, I just recently returned from a close enough to two years break, and had been struggling to decide what to do with myself since coming back.

    Reading your blog and a few of the others I think I know now, in my dark heart, the answer. Brawling down everything in sight or going down autoz blazing (and killing stuff in wormholes never did enough of that).

    I've enjoyed reading your travel guides to the low sec areas I used to haunt, hunt and get hunted down in, freelance and as militia grunt. Look forward to seeing you sometime in Amamake Top Belt :)

  3. Ahh the nostalgia. Its a great thing. Thanks Muira for such a thoughtful post.

  4. Beautiful post MB. Your second paragraph exactly describes my eve experience and the way it has captivated me.

  5. I'm a bit sad now. :<

    Fighting the urge to look up goodbye posts on the forum. Wouldn't wanna get real sad. :\

  6. I be back when u be back, Brother ! ^^

    -Sin (le vrai ! )