15 Jul 2011

Point the Proteus, Point the Proteus !

Last week I rolled out with the now famed Penis Fleet. Altotheix, a former alliance mate of mine who has fingers in every pie and some sinister connections to boot sent the invite, and I was soon heading down to Assah in the deepest depths of Derelik in a new autocannon Thorax to join the form-up.

Having plugged into the Heretic comms channel we waited for the late-comers to arrive before our journey into Providence. Fleet was hovering around the 19 mark and the call was made that anybody wishing to join now would have to play catch-up.

We undocked in phallic glory .... Thorax, Stabbers and, erm, a Tristan. Our scout flying a cyno-Kestrel.

The first few jumps were uneventful, we cross-jumped a couple of ships on a few occasions, most notably a Drake, but the general theme for the roam was 'hard, fast and a quick death'. At this point we were being tailed by a nosey interceptor, always landing some distance from the angry looking fleet. We kept burning .....

Then we got the call from the scout that a Harbinger was about to jump through to us. We waited as the gate flashed ..... And then unleashed all hell on the poor bastard. True Sansha Web in the hold too, that guy well and truly got a slap across the face from the Penis Fleet.

Moving on ......

We were now quite deep into Providence, or at least we were further in than some had expected, a bet had been placed on our final destruction system pre-roam with the winner taking everybody else's insurance money. I had lost as we had gone further than the amount of jumps I had put my money on.

Then our scout reported multiple ships in the next system. Some were dicking around on the station and some appeared to be running anomalies or other tedious activities. One ship in particular caught the eye, a Proteus appeared to be in one of the belts. The call was made for one of the guys to jump in and try and snag him in the belt, unfortunately mid-warp he seemed to move away, had we lost our prey?

Waiting on the other side of the gate for what seemed like an eternity, at first thinking that the Proteus was spooked and had gone safe, we were alerted that he was showing up at another belt. At this point the fleet commander gave the call for everyone to jump in and go rush the belt in question and that is what we did, only .....

We all landed nearly 40 clicks off of the faction cruiser. Microwarpdrives burning, fully expecting the Proteus to warp off into the distance, however, he did not. Was he going to hold firm and slay the invaders or was he just stupid? Stupid would be the best guess - a well executed over-heated point from Vj Gunter and the Proteus turned into a feast for the hungry fleet.

Sadly it was to be the last kill of the evening, just out of HED-GP we ran into a Darkside gang. All the power of the Penis was pointed towards the enemy Lachesis but as Scimitar's, Command Ships, Tech 3 cruisers, Battlecruisers and Heavy Interdictors started to show up on grid we overheated everything and waited for the black-out.


I warped off in my pod quickly towards the sun and then on to a safe. After the Darkside gang had left I made my way back to the gate in my pod where I was then chased into HED-GP by three locals in two inties and an Electronic Attack Frigate. As they gave chase I warped to a pounce point I had just off the high-sec out-gate, as I landed at my safe on grid I watched with a smile on my face as the chasing threesome became tangled in their own alliance's catch bubble. I warped down to the gate and waved as I left local.

A great roam and definitely one I will take part in again. Watch out for the next one and come join in the fun!



  1. A good read. I love your blog :)

  2. Ilik Tanikalot16 July 2011 at 01:24

    Does the fleet have a standard time to roll?

  3. Not as such, mate. The next time it is scheduled I will forward you the mail. :)