29 Oct 2012

The Dream of a Ridiculous Man

I have, over time, come to the conclusion that some of the most socially inept, hostile and overly angry people in the game are those who take to the profession of mining. More so when they lose a ship in a good fight.

I've spent a bit of my time in-game recently putting together a stable of good old-fashioned suicide gank Catalysts with the obvious aim being the generation of some nice mining barge killmails. This activity is a hobby of mine that I quite enjoy as much as one might enjoy painting a watercolour or a spot of clay pigeon shooting. Does this make me anti-social? I certainly don't think so. I like to embrace society and will actively engage in discussion with those who invite me to their private chat channels post-fight. I will offer them help and advice on how to avoid future ship loss. Instead though, some would rather vent their anger at me, which is quite disappointing.

I find that they struggle to differentiate between the game and real-life problems. But despite this I am always here for them if they need to talk.

The gank Catalyst is a remarkable ship that in its purest tech1 form can put a simple Retriever or Covetor to the sword  in brutal fashion. It doesn't have a point fitted so if the miner is paying attention he should be able to warp out from his already aligned position as soon as he spots me land on grid, or at the very latest as soon as I target him.

[Catalyst, Miura Bull's Catalyst]
Magnetic Field Stabilizer I
Magnetic Field Stabilizer I
Magnetic Field Stabilizer I

Sensor Booster I,Scan Resolution Script
Sensor Booster I,Scan Resolution Script

Light Neutron Blaster I
Light Neutron Blaster I
Light Neutron Blaster I
Light Neutron Blaster I
Light Neutron Blaster I
Light Neutron Blaster I
Light Neutron Blaster I
Light Neutron Blaster I

Small Hybrid Burst Aerator I
Small Hybrid Collision Accelerator I

Of course, not all miners are savvy enough to take these simple precautions and protect their valuable commodities.

This Retriever pilot in Aurcel soon opened up a conversation with me after his mining barge exploded due to an unfortunate sequence of events. I was primed to offer my words of wisdom but instead was greeted with some pretty nasty and vile abuse. I'm sure this man must be some kind of animal judging by his words.

Spelling and grammar has been left unedited.

Miura Bull > hello
Niko Trive > nice job you fuckwad.
Niko Trive > did the cops gank you
Niko Trive > I hope to god the cops ganked you
Miura Bull > I am a mining permit inspector, I am the cops
Miura Bull > I scanned your ship and did not notice the correct permits
Niko Trive > what you candy ass high sec ganker.
Niko Trive > bounty hnting is coming...
Niko Trive > you stupid n*****
Miura Bull > I am an officer of the asteroid husbandry guild and I am offended by your racism
Niko Trive > you a candy ass ganker, what is it like to be a big old pussy?
Miura Bull > I am afraid I do not follow ?
Niko Trive > I dare you to come back here and try it again dipshit
Miura Bull > oh I have your fine here by the way
Miura Bull > shall I post it you? or can you pay now?
Niko Trive > you can wipe my as wiht it bitch
Niko Trive > Oh wait, you will not come back because your a candy ass dipfuck
Miura Bull > 1337000 isk is the fine for clean up of debris, ammo used and paperwork issued
Miura Bull > thanks for your co-operation with this matter we understand it is easy to ignore your obligations to the guild
Niko Trive > I'll be seeing you again n*****, what your back fuck stick.


This pilot, who lost his mining barge and his capsule, again residing in the Aurcel solar system (there must be something in the water over that way), seemed to question what I was doing and wondered if there was something better I could be putting my non-existent skills towards. After issuing him with his fines and words of advice he then closed the convo after a final volley of abuse.

Lycarius Sato > thx
Miura Bull > good evening officer Bull mining permit inspector how can I be of service?
Lycarius Sato > you dont have to do somethink better than a kill people who are new in eve?
Miura Bull >You did not have a permit. I must uphold the law Sir
Lycarius Sato > get a life learn some skills and stop bewing a dick
Miura Bull > I have a bill for the cleanup here if you'd like to pay now or shall I mail you the bill ?
Miura Bull > it's hard work what I do, this takes a lot of skill
Miura Bull > hello sir
Lycarius Sato > sure sure...
Miura Bull > I am glad we agree
Lycarius Sato > what you talking bout clean up?
Miura Bull > the wreckage of your ship, your corpse ... I have to clean that
Lycarius Sato > fuck off
Lycarius Sato > c*nt
Miura Bull > excellent

He closed the convo.


I don't know what the answer is to cure space of these acid-tongued individuals. It seems clear that a cure might not be possible. Some might say an Impossible Dream.

With the help of great bastions of society like myself, and many others who enjoy the pvp element of the game and don't lower themselves to such horrific language and foul ways, it will be a long and hard struggle. A long hard struggle.



  1. And they wonder why so many people love ganking them. Nasty, nasty human beings.

  2. Gank them, if they start spewing vile comments you can always claim it was a pre-emptive punishment for not being civil about it.

  3. You almost popped my retriever in Stegette as I wasn't paying attention and didn't notice the flashing red catalyst show up. Fortunately, I was tanked for such as occasion and survived the onslaught with the help of the police and my hobgoblins.

    It is fun listening to them whine. One wonders where their sense of humour is.

    1. Damn those cops.


      Yeah I was just passing through and spotted you on scan and thought 'heh, why not, worth a go' ... was expecting a tank tbh. It's these guys who don't tank their ships and then cry that I don't understand.

  4. They don't tank because they don't know. Because they don't learn, because they don't ask, because they're too busy swearing at you to ask how you killed them and how to avoid it.
    Oh, btw, passive alignment is a myth - doesn't matter which way you're pointing, your ship always gets into warp in the same time. This is because the physics of the game sees your ship as a zero value point in space with no length or width, only the graphics side sees it as a 3D object. Just FYI. ;)

    1. Yes indeed. When I mentioned 'already aligned position' I was implying a position of alignment that a miner can spam warp to when he sees something about to land on grid--regardless of actual ship position. A station on the overview for example. If they are paying attention (which mostly they're not) they'll get out). Reading it back though it does read as though I was implying a ship alignment.

      I also don't know if any of the above actually makes any sense. Hah :D

  5. It's a shame the standard response isn't, "Hey! How'd you DO that??"
    I guess learning is anathema to some people, pity really ....
    (So is the fact that some people still think passive alignment has any value - it doesn't, it's been tested by me and my mates with Hulks and Orca's, doesn't matter where the hell you're pointing, your ship gets into warp in the same time, actually)