22 Sep 2011

Meet the Rebels - Saftsuze

The story so far .....

We've been jumping into the mind of New Eden's criminal combat pilots. The Black Rebel Rifter Club decided to distribute into the public domain a series of standardised press interviews that were conducted at various locations across the cluster. The following short transcripts are in the words of the journalist who conducted the meetings and their identities have been hidden by request.

MB.


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Saftsuze's invite to his personal quarters took me by surprise somewhat, what would it be like inside? Trashy decor, messy, caked in grease, empty bottles and general carnage was something I would have expected from a Black Rebel gang boss. To my surprise I was greeted to the pleasant smell of a clean apartment, furniture polish and a faint twang of some exotic spicy cologne wafting through the air.

In fact Saftsuze is getting quite a reputation in the Rebel circle as a man of fine grooming and a legendary moustache that glistens like a quivering scorch beam underneath a moonlit sky. Saftsuze is the operator of a public channel called The Overheated Hot Tub that claims to cleanse dirty pirate types once they jump in for a chat. The only rules are that you must bring a towel. I nod in agreement, almost expecting an invite to this room of pirate loins.

As we sit down on the finest leather chairs and begin the interview I notice a small round tub of 'Gallente Extra-Firm Brand 47 Moustache Wax' on the coffee table in front of me ...... by the side of me is a life-size golden statue of Saftsuze, complete with running waterfall (erm) feature that splashes gently on the hero's golden feet.

Saftsuze



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What is a Black Rebel?

I can only speak for myself: I am a free man shooting stuff I think I might be able to kill. And no, we are not pirates. We might do acts of crime, but as my corp mate put it: Do you see a fucking parrot on my shoulder?



Is it true you need a tattoo to be considered for entry?

No, just make sure your moustache is smaller and less sexy than mine.



The Rifter, tell me more?

It should be smoking. There is nothing like the smell from a burning Rifter with a thawing corpse in the cargohold!



Tell us a little bit about your background in New Eden.

To make a long and boring story short: As a last effort to make me some sort of political force, my parents got me into the Gallente Capsuleer Program. They wanted me to become a Gallente hero. Well, after running a few missions for some dull and annoying agents in high security space, my corp was declared war upon several times by some bad ass corp with just a few pilots. After being hunted for a while, I finally got my head together and started studying the art of hunting other capsuleers and I got hooked on making stuff explode.



So you once were a law abiding citizen in high sec preyed upon by the more unlawful elements?

Yeah, for a few months. I am however eternally grateful to Soronova and her corp, for kicking me out of the false feeling of safety in high security space. One day I will have to challenge that bitch for a Rifter duel.



How did you become a Black Rebel?

Now that is a long story. It starts with me running from our very scary Chief Executive Officer, Mr. Miura Bull, in the unsecure space lanes of Obalyu and Parts. He was in his sturdy Jaguar and I was in my fragile, but very fast, little Incursus. I swear I could smell the cigar smoke from his Jag, that’s how close he was! But he didn’t get me.



So after running away from this Soronova in high sec you “advanced” to running away from Miura Bull and the likes in low sec?

Yeah, I’ve always been a coward, and I guess that running away that many times from Mr. Bull earned me just enough respect that he cared to answer my questions about the life of crime. After that, I was randomly in contact with him whenever I bumped into him, and we hung out in the same communication channels. I would have teamed up with him earlier if it wasn’t for my inability to use voice communications in fleets.... Ehm.. You see, I have a bit of social anxiety. I am best when I am flying solo. So, instead I started my own corp named after my personal style of decision making: Overheated Hotheads. It was a great success with two members - including me!



Two members - you call that a great success?

Hell, yeah! I got Tomba as a member, a fine capsuleer that almost killed Kane Rizzel once! And we almost got Sobczynski as a member, a very entertaining bureaucrat of Pator Tech School. Sadly he has now retired to some backwater planet somewhere. I hope he one day will reactivate his clone - or activate a new one - and come back to the asteroid belts of low security space.



So he was “almost” a member...

I guess what I am trying to say, despite the low numbers, we had a good atmosphere going in our public channel The Overheated Hot Tub and I started enjoying my own solo roams a lot more. Overheated Hotheads helped me define my flying style and it inspired me as a criminal pilot. And I have a feeling Miura got a bit inspired as well from that cesspool of scumbag germs, because, not long after, he decided to revive his old rebel corp - and me and Tomba jumped out of the hot tub and into the hot new club.



Are all Black Rebels unwashed scumbags whose only goal in life is to terrorize those they tag as 'the enemy'?

Excuse me! I am certainly not unwashed! I spend quite a lot of time on personal hygiene and in front of the mirror. I hear some of the capsuleers are not happy with the new upgraded Captains Quarters, but I guess that has something to do with what they see in that lovely mirror. Well, for some of us, these refurbished quarters certainly has added value to New Eden life. But scumbag? Yeah, that’s spot on.



What about your corpmates?

Now, THEY might very well be unwashed! I read your interview with Taranfel. I guess you remember him by the smell? And I bet I wouldn’t be wrong when I assume it is me he is referring to as a “pretty boy”. Well, Taranfel, here is a message for you: It is a proven fact that 10 out of 10 women would prefer a trimmed moustache over sunglasses, untidy hair and pod goo breath.


[The sound file has some mumbling recorded at this point and Saftsuze is saying something like this: “Pretty boy? Huh? I’ll show him “pretty boy” next time he shows up in the hot tub” but this can not be confirmed 100 percent]



Describe a typical day in the life of a Rebel.

I always start with careful grooming of my moustache. Being good in battle has a lot to do with how good I feel about myself. It’s all about confidence. But, of course, sometimes I’m just too sexy for my ship - and it explodes. But I digress. After getting ready for the pod, I undock and start scanning for targets. Then I find something to shoot, and then, depending on the outcome of the last engagement, I find something else to shoot or go get another ship. That’s it, basically. I have made arrangements for associates to do my ship logistics, selling of loot and generally manage my ISK.


End of transcript////

3 comments:

  1. That 'tache gets me weak at the knees, everytime.

    ReplyDelete
  2. With great mustache, comes great responsibility.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Suze ain't just a rebel: He smells good too!

    ReplyDelete