19 Mar 2012

Doughnuts & Mining Beams

Reiko Kisaragi > stop please

Reiko Kisaragi > plaes estop

Miura Bull > hello

Miura Bull > do you have the correct permit for this belt?

Reiko Kisaragi > i will give you a some ore

Miura Bull > ore? ore!? freeze! do not move! switch off all lasers

Reiko Kisaragi > 50 percent i promise u

Miura Bull > I am protector of ore, switch off your beams now!

Reiko Kisaragi > 50 percent of money that i get

Reiko Kisaragi > from selling

Miura Bull > I will need to punish this violation this time, you have refused to switch off your mining beams, justice will commence

The Thorax is halted from its crime spree by the brutal force of the law.

Miura Bull > hey I could sell you a permit ? for future mining operations?

Miura Bull > 20m isk for release of your capsule?

Reiko Kisaragi > i agree

Reiko Kisaragi > paid

Miura Bull > there you go

Miura Bull > I must uphold the laws of these asteroid fields

Reiko Kisaragi > can i ask so you undestand that

Reiko Kisaragi > my ship was destroyed? why?

Reiko Kisaragi > i wish if such thing not happen

Miura Bull > it was, would you like me to mail you an application form for a mining permit for this system?

Reiko Kisaragi > but now i need to buy a new ship & so i back here not so early

Miura Bull > sorry to hear about that

Miura Bull > we performed a ship scan on you at the gate and found no permit

Miura Bull > lowsec asteroids are protected

Miura Bull > intergalactic space heritage fields

Reiko Kisaragi > so

Reiko Kisaragi > if i pay next time i can mine?

Miura Bull > yes you can 50 million isk

Miura Bull > a pass lasts 7 days

Miura Bull > and you also receive protection from any other attackers, terms and conditions apply

Reiko Kisaragi > sounds good

Reiko Kisaragi > so

Reiko Kisaragi > i add you to my list & when i will be ready to pay for mining-i will contact with you and arrange deal?

Miura Bull > excellent

Miura Bull > we have your image on our on board cctv so no sneaking in, an agent will violate your ship without the pass I must warn you

Miura Bull > do you like doughnuts?

Reiko Kisaragi > doughunts? what

Miura Bull > yeah.... was just on my doughnut break when the call came in at the stargate

Miura Bull > hostile miner inbound, sirens and shit go WAWAWAWA I tell you what man, that dang ol CK One man just like catnip

Miura Bull > coffee went everywhere

Reiko Kisaragi > so sorry but i not understand this?

Reiko Kisaragi > can i get my eqipment back?

Miura Bull > yes sure

Miura Bull > I will first need to file and photograph the evidence in my office

Miura Bull > we will then contact you within 7 days

Miura Bull > receipt of goods via contract

Miura Bull > it is all procedure I am sure you understand

Miura Bull > serious offences like this take up a lot of paper

Reiko Kisaragi > my eng not so good-this mean that i get my eqip when i pay 7 day pass?

Miura Bull > no that is different, I will give you your equipment in 7 days

Miura Bull > we need to run a few checks, make sure no crimes have been committed with the items we recovered etc

Miura Bull > all procedure

Miura Bull > I hope you understand, we'll probably check the mining gear for fingerprints, that sort of thing, check the plates you know?

Miura Bull > we also offer courses for rehabilitation if you would be interested in such a thing?

Reiko Kisaragi > rehabiliation? what

Miura Bull > yes

Miura Bull > mining in lowsec, it's a very serious addiction

Miura Bull > we offer a course that runs next to our anti-gatecamping course

Reiko Kisaragi > soo

Reiko Kisaragi > i need to pay 50m for mining and a course? i not understand of this

Miura Bull > yes

Miura Bull > you will get a discount for any future courses too

Miura Bull > free coffee and water, toilet breaks etc

Reiko Kisaragi > so how i could protect me from other persons in this system?

Miura Bull > are included in the price

Miura Bull > we have a network of agents

Miura Bull > we will protect you, we operate in the shadows

Reiko Kisaragi > dont seems like a true to me

Miura Bull > please do get in touch when you are ready for the pass

Miura Bull > during your 7 days we will talk about the courses and weening you off

Miura Bull > it is a dark time when mining ... we understand this

Miura Bull > stay strong and we will help you and together we can fight this

Miura Bull > okay I have to leave now, reports of multiple violations in belt 3-1

Miura Bull > stay safe and abide by the law civilian o/

Reiko Kisaragi > thanks ?


I quickly dock up my Firetail. The hostiles on scan are showing as Stabber, Brutix, Myrmidon, Raven and Scorpion. All are showing as being from the same corporation. All have unregistered hulls projecting their names across the cluster like a bright neon beacon. We will need more punch, now where did I park that.....

Comedy tech 1 fitted Hurricane with a sensor booster tank. Oh dear. A relic from an old comedic roam, a ship that perhaps should have fallen on the wayside but somehow now still remains in one piece. Time for one last hurrah?

I undock and blast open the warp drive on the Cane. I notice that there is only one ammo type in the hold, EMP. Great. As I land in the belt the hostile ships are leaving. I manage to pinpoint them to a nearby planet. I warp in again and they scatter, in different directions. I chase the Stabber and eventually I land 10 clicks off of him. Show time.

As I begin to punch at it with my tech one guns I await the incoming blab of his friends and soon enough they all land, at different ranges. The Stabber goes down in a ball of flames. I begin working on the Myrmidon, his shield is stripped away as the two battleships close range, slowly.

The EMP rounds aren't making a dent on the armor. And I am jammed. The Scorpion misses a cycle and I lock up the Raven, the Myrmidon has left the field. Shields nearly down, not making much dent on this Raven and again I am jammed. I pull some range and make an escape as the Myrmidon lands again accompanied by the Stabber guy in another Stabber.

What a weird series of events.



  1. Hahaha oh how do i miss finding miners where they shouldnt be Great job MB

  2. I don't think I ever lol'd so frikkin much. Brilliant :)

  3. ....toilet breaks....