2 Apr 2011

Rolling Around Looking For Easy Kills Like Punks

I seem to have a knack of finding mining fit battlecruisers lurking in belts doing their dirty deeds. On this particular occasion I was out with my buddy Firelight Morgenstern on a routine patrol, I was in a Hurricane and he was in a Tengu, a nice little two-man fleet. Needless to say, this rock-hungry abomination that we stumbled upon didn't last very long under heavy fire.

After offering up a good fight in local we received this verbal return.

[ 2011.03.05 19:53:16 ] Javen Kai > fuckin assholes

So, I decide to fire up the troll machine and invite him to my ransom channel.

[ 2011.03.05 20:02:41 ] Miura Bull > hello mr, your language was not very nice and my mum read it on my screen

[ 2011.03.05 20:03:00 ] Javen Kai > what f is this

[ 2011.03.05 20:03:07 ] Miura Bull > can you say sorry please?

[ 2011.03.05 20:03:15 ] Miura Bull > mum read screen when you swore at us

[ 2011.03.05 20:03:15 ] Javen Kai > for what?

[ 2011.03.05 20:03:24 ] Miura Bull > swearing in my game i'm playing on

[ 2011.03.05 20:03:53 ] Javen Kai > you have brought me here to mock me?

[ 2011.03.05 20:04:04 ] Miura Bull > no mister

[ 2011.03.05 20:04:12 ] Saftsuze > Javen, wash your mouth and transfer 10 million isk to mr Bull, please.

[ 2011.03.05 20:04:33 ] Miura Bull > yeah

[ 2011.03.05 20:04:35 ] Javen Kai > lol

[ 2011.03.05 20:04:40 ] Javen Kai > you guys are punks

[ 2011.03.05 20:04:45 ] Miura Bull > if you pay 10m isk you can have a pass for the mining fields if you like

[ 2011.03.05 20:05:00 ] Javen Kai > i dont need a pass.. next time im coming back with my fleet

[ 2011.03.05 20:05:07 ] Miura Bull > oh

[ 2011.03.05 20:05:10 ] Saftsuze > And another 10 will give you the rights to swear

[ 2011.03.05 20:05:21 ] Miura Bull > i'm sorry what fleet? don't please bring fleet

[ 2011.03.05 20:05:40 ] Miura Bull > how many in your fleet ? only two and 3 of us here

[ 2011.03.05 20:06:03 ] Javen Kai > thats need to know information, top secret

[ 2011.03.05 20:06:18 ] Firelight Morgenstern > now look what you've done miura

[ 2011.03.05 20:06:34 ] Miura Bull > sorry bro

[ 2011.03.05 20:06:51 ] Firelight Morgenstern > javen

[ 2011.03.05 20:07:00 ] Javen Kai > hmm?

[ 2011.03.05 20:07:06 ] Firelight Morgenstern > please refrain from bringing in your fleet, we could talk diplomacy if you like?

[ 2011.03.05 20:07:19 ] Firelight Morgenstern > no need for violence now is there

[ 2011.03.05 20:07:30 ] Miura Bull > dont tell mom Fire

[ 2011.03.05 20:07:36 ] Javen Kai > im not sure.. gangs like you live for it right?

[ 2011.03.05 20:07:44 ] Javen Kai > thats what you do roll around looking for easy kills like punks

[ 2011.03.05 20:07:50 ] Javen Kai > is that how it goes? huh pank asses

[ 2011.03.05 20:08:03 ] Firelight Morgenstern > we're kind of new, miura thought you was a rat and tbh so did i

[ 2011.03.05 20:08:27 ] Miura Bull > yeah we didn't mean to burn your ship, but after the rats attacked my ship it locked back at you for my settings are wrong

[ 2011.03.05 20:08:36 ] Javen Kai > lol whatever

[ 2011.03.05 20:08:40 ] Javen Kai > this is stupid

[ 2011.03.05 20:08:55 ] Miura Bull > is your fleet on standby?

[ 2011.03.05 20:09:34 ] Javen Kai > maybe.. you had better rally some more men.



At this point I randomly invite some guy to the convo from Saftsuze's ransom channel who he had killed earlier and was still loitering.


[ 2011.03.05 20:09:44 ] Miura Bull > hello marc freemen  are you in Javen's fleet?

[ 2011.03.05 20:09:48 ] Saftsuze > marc?! Are you following me? Stalking me?!

[ 2011.03.05 20:10:03 ] Miura Bull > me rally some men? I have no more friends they all playing playstation at minute having sleepover tonight

[ 2011.03.05 20:10:10 ] marc freemen > y'all are nuts im tring to do a quest here

[ 2011.03.05 20:10:23 ] Saftsuze > of the holy grail?

[ 2011.03.05 20:10:36 ] Javen Kai > no men to rally? so you pick a fight with no fleet backup but 3 or 4 guys?

[ 2011.03.05 20:10:43 ] Miura Bull > javen is doing a quest and i thought you was in his fleet that's not true is it?

[ 2011.03.05 20:11:01 ] Saftsuze > or the quest of Kruul's DNA ?

[ 2011.03.05 20:11:07 ] Miura Bull > yeah I realise my mistake now Javen

[ 2011.03.05 20:11:27 ] Javen Kai > I demand to know whos your CEO?

[ 2011.03.05 20:11:40 ] Miura Bull > sard caid

[ 2011.03.05 20:11:58 ] Miura Bull > he can handle all complaints but he will punish me so if you dont talk to him would be more apprciated thanks

[ 2011.03.05 20:12:21 ] Miura Bull > and i'll see if we can come to some sort of arrangement

[ 2011.03.05 20:12:55 ] marc freemen > idk what i have to do with this what is this?

[ 2011.03.05 20:13:17 ] Miura Bull > I don't know what it was for but when it stood next to you had to shoot it marc

[ 2011.03.05 20:13:21 ] Saftsuze > marc, you casn have the DNA for 5 million isk

[ 2011.03.05 20:13:32 ] Saftsuze > i can haz dna

[ 2011.03.05 20:13:45 ] marc freemen > i have his damn dna what is going on here please?

[ 2011.03.05 20:14:06 ] Saftsuze > why do i have it then?!

[ 2011.03.05 20:14:11 ] Javen Kai > so which one of you flys a battleship?

[ 2011.03.05 20:14:11 ] Firelight Morgenstern > brb guys tamagotchi needs feeding

[ 2011.03.05 20:14:21 ] Saftsuze > am i turning into a cloned Kruul?!

[ 2011.03.05 20:14:38 ] Miura Bull > Fire can fly a battleship with heavy guns

[ 2011.03.05 20:14:54 ] Javen Kai > mmm

[ 2011.03.05 20:15:16 ] Miura Bull > not guns I mean toropedos, he is quite good with them, he learnt it on his xbox, can you fly the battleship?

[ 2011.03.05 20:15:31 ] Javen Kai > you know your boss would really not like you giving out all this information

[ 2011.03.05 20:16:01 ] Miura Bull > firelight is my friend in different corp but dont tell my boss about me

[ 2011.03.05 20:16:04 ] Miura Bull > if that's ok

[ 2011.03.05 20:16:25 ] Miura Bull > can your fleet fly battleships?

[ 2011.03.05 20:17:02 ] Javen Kai > who doesnt fly battleships are you kidding me? this isnt Candyland.

[ 2011.03.05 20:17:39 ] Miura Bull > true.... i just dont want to underestimate your fleet if fire cant sort an agreement out

[ 2011.03.05 20:17:48 ] Miura Bull > I dont like fighting against battleships

[ 2011.03.05 20:18:55 ] Firelight Morgenstern > back

[ 2011.03.05 20:19:04 ] Firelight Morgenstern > god damned batteries were low, thought i'd lost him there

[ 2011.03.05 20:19:13 ] Firelight Morgenstern > so where were we? Javen?

[ 2011.03.05 20:19:23 ] Javen Kai > ask bonehead.

[ 2011.03.05 20:19:32 ] Miura Bull > bonehead?

[ 2011.03.05 20:19:41 ] Miura Bull > marc freemen  ?

[ 2011.03.05 20:19:42 ] Javen Kai > yea Mr.Bull i am calling you a bonehead

[ 2011.03.05 20:19:53 ] Miura Bull > oh ok :(


[ 2011.03.05 20:20:08 ] Firelight Morgenstern > there is no need for that Javen lad

[ 2011.03.05 20:20:46 ] Javen Kai > Fire your the CEO?

[ 2011.03.05 20:21:23 ] Javen Kai > of a one man corporation... lol

[ 2011.03.05 20:21:41 ] Firelight Morgenstern > I am guardian of miura bull and all of his friends who come round to play and my one man corporation just messed up your day LIKE A BOSS - lol

[ 2011.03.05 20:21:55 ] Firelight Morgenstern > and yeah with 1 man, we get on fine that way

[ 2011.03.05 20:23:08 ] Javen Kai > im pulling back my fleet, but next time Mr. Bull should be careful.

[ 2011.03.05 20:23:10 ] Miura Bull > sard caid is my ceo

[ 2011.03.05 20:23:27 ] Miura Bull > actually i think you should send him a message, i put my hands up that i made mistake

[ 2011.03.05 20:23:40 ] Miura Bull > maybe he would understand

[ 2011.03.05 20:24:28 ] Javen Kai > not buying it.. i know your type.. easy kills, you roam around all day mostly idle looking for an easy gank your all lame ass pirates

[ 2011.03.05 20:24:54 ] Javen Kai > and you bring me into the chat.. cause this might be your only entertainment for the day cos you sad boys

[ 2011.03.05 20:25:06 ] Miura Bull > just don't want you to get mad and bring your battleship fleet that is all

[ 2011.03.05 20:25:25 ] Miura Bull > this is not entertainment it is kind of serious business and worrying for us all concerned if you bring your fleet in

[ 2011.03.05 20:25:31 ] Javen Kai > i wouldnt risk my fleet for you guys.. lol its kind of an expensive one

[ 2011.03.05 20:25:49 ] Javen Kai > over a 30mil hurricane?we dont do risks for that

[ 2011.03.05 20:25:57 ] Javen Kai > bad buisness right there..

[ 2011.03.05 20:26:05 ] Miura Bull > I want to see your fleet

[ 2011.03.05 20:26:38 ] Javen Kai > i bet you do, ships are hung up at the moment. Perhaps we can arrange a date.

[ 2011.03.05 20:26:43 ] Miura Bull > i'd pull their pants down and tickle their harris

[ 2011.03.05 20:26:52 ] Miura Bull > I'm joking

[ 2011.03.05 20:27:04 ] Miura Bull > where are they hung up?

[ 2011.03.05 20:27:20 ] Miura Bull > I see you're the operations director?

[ 2011.03.05 20:27:23 ] Javen Kai > in a system not far from where you attacked me. Ready for pvp duties

[ 2011.03.05 20:27:30 ] Miura Bull > uh oh oh crap

[ 2011.03.05 20:27:33 ] Miura Bull > sorry man

[ 2011.03.05 20:27:38 ] Javen Kai > LOL you should be

[ 2011.03.05 20:28:03 ] Javen Kai > pilot's need there downtime tho.. which is lucky for you

[ 2011.03.05 20:28:15 ] Miura Bull > phewee

[ 2011.03.05 20:28:46 ] Javen Kai > but i wanna talk to someone important.. my corporation is looking to join an alliance

[ 2011.03.05 20:29:13 ] Firelight Morgenstern > is this your fleet ? http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/combat_record.php?type=corp&name=GlekCo

[ 2011.03.05 20:29:45 ] Miura Bull > well your stats show that you perhaps have the willing for a fight, maybe we could form an allice?

[ 2011.03.05 20:30:13 ] Javen Kai > mostly those kills are from our industrials getting ganked

[ 2011.03.05 20:30:35 ] Miura Bull > we could form an allice if you can show me the kills then, would be cool to fly with battleship fleet

[ 2011.03.05 20:30:44 ] Miura Bull > sucks when that happens to industrials

[ 2011.03.05 20:30:52 ] Javen Kai > we dont kill for sport just when provoked

[ 2011.03.05 20:31:36 ] Miura Bull > yeah I understand you buddy, it is like fox hunting, couple of us have been trying to get indie hunting banned for a while now

[ 2011.03.05 20:31:38 ] Javen Kai > but we need out of high sec to increase profits, to get out of high sec you need connections and you guys might help us

[ 2011.03.05 20:31:53 ] Miura Bull > true

[ 2011.03.05 20:33:11 ] Miura Bull > we didn't know your hurricane was an indie when we locked it up cos it had mining lasers on and we just thought cos it was rat it would be fighting boat

[ 2011.03.05 20:33:19 ] Firelight Morgenstern > yeah that is what happened

[ 2011.03.05 20:33:30 ] Firelight Morgenstern > hey . . where did marc go?

[ 2011.03.05 20:33:36 ] Miura Bull > pff ?

[ 2011.03.05 20:33:50 ] Miura Bull > Hey Javen, about this allice

[ 2011.03.05 20:33:59 ] Javen Kai > if i had my pvp gear on that ship.. it would have been abit more interesting battle

[ 2011.03.05 20:34:12 ] Miura Bull > oh god yes I fully agree

[ 2011.03.05 20:34:37 ] Miura Bull > so you have 9 in your corp . . . I want you to tell me what you 9 guys might bring in a fleet to fight by the side of me and my friends

[ 2011.03.05 20:34:39 ] Javen Kai > i solo sleeper sites with that thing

[ 2011.03.05 20:34:47 ] Miura Bull > an ideal fleet composition for you guys

[ 2011.03.05 20:34:58 ] Miura Bull > sleeper sites? do you mine them?

[ 2011.03.05 20:36:02 ] Javen Kai > i cant speak about our operations too deeply

[ 2011.03.05 20:36:32 ] Miura Bull > absolutely

[ 2011.03.05 20:36:44 ] Miura Bull > but we need some kind of idea for future joint ops etc

[ 2011.03.05 20:37:11 ] Javen Kai > we have the technology to explore wormholes

[ 2011.03.05 20:37:22 ] Miura Bull > ooh

[ 2011.03.05 20:37:54 ] Javen Kai > on a good night we can pull out 100million worth of resources in 5-6 hours

[ 2011.03.05 20:38:04 ] Miura Bull > dangerous places I hear?

[ 2011.03.05 20:38:08 ] Javen Kai > very

[ 2011.03.05 20:38:28 ] Miura Bull > do you think we'd be able to help your fleet if we bring me in my hurricane and my brother in his tengui boat?

[ 2011.03.05 20:39:31 ] Javen Kai > im sure yes our security department is thin.

[ 2011.03.05 20:40:11 ] Javen Kai > we cant all fly our battleship when we are running industrials

[ 2011.03.05 20:40:15 ] Firelight Morgenstern > I have a question Javen, sir

[ 2011.03.05 20:40:25 ] Javen Kai > yes Mr. Morgenstern

[ 2011.03.05 20:40:40 ] Firelight Morgenstern > I found this killmail in your wormhole operations . . http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=12501357  I wondered if you could elaborate on what happened

[ 2011.03.05 20:41:02 ] Firelight Morgenstern > for operations reviews etc, don't want to lose my tengui if we go in a wormhole togther

[ 2011.03.05 20:41:19 ] Javen Kai > yes i understand i will explain

[ 2011.03.05 20:41:39 ] Firelight Morgenstern > thank you

[ 2011.03.05 20:41:52 ] Javen Kai > our scout.. before he gained the ability to cloak

[ 2011.03.05 20:42:13 ] Javen Kai > had only his combat ship.. in our early operations we didnt have the resources we do now

[ 2011.03.05 20:43:30 ] Javen Kai > we send in a cloaked scout.. he scans if the wormhole is inhabitied

[ 2011.03.05 20:43:43 ] Firelight Morgenstern > I understand... is that the normal drake fitting you guys use? looks ok to me but just checking

[ 2011.03.05 20:43:50 ] Javen Kai > no its not

[ 2011.03.05 20:43:58 ] Firelight Morgenstern > pr0 scout drake?

[ 2011.03.05 20:44:23 ] Javen Kai > not anymore

[ 2011.03.05 20:44:47 ] Javen Kai > we use inexpesive probing ships that can cloak

[ 2011.03.05 20:45:03 ] Javen Kai > we scout.. if its inhabited with a force we can not handle we back out and rescan for a wormhole elsewhere

[ 2011.03.05 20:45:15 ] Firelight Morgenstern > ooh i do like the sound of that in and out

[ 2011.03.05 20:45:51 ] Miura Bull > this does sound promising

[ 2011.03.05 20:46:13 ] Javen Kai > we have gas miners, we have industrials, and my hurricane is able to tank sleeper pve sites solo

[ 2011.03.05 20:48:20 ] Javen Kai > we just looking for some good security guys.. possibly an alliance with a pvp corp

[ 2011.03.05 20:48:38 ] Javen Kai > we arent carebears.. but we dont make our money pirate we do it the hard knuckle way

[ 2011.03.05 20:50:03 ] Javen Kai > we hit a billion isk, last month

[ 2011.03.05 20:50:24 ] Miura Bull > my whole corp might be able to assist, we all have pvp experience

[ 2011.03.05 20:50:39 ] Javen Kai > wormhole is where the money is..

[ 2011.03.05 20:51:14 ] Firelight Morgenstern > i imagine it is

[ 2011.03.05 20:51:26 ] Miura Bull > yeah

[ 2011.03.05 20:51:53 ] Javen Kai > but as if now.. our t2 gas miner.. is also our security director

[ 2011.03.05 20:51:59 ] Miura Bull > would you guys be able to pay for a whole security wing though? They don't really come cheap these days

[ 2011.03.05 20:52:20 ] Miura Bull > I see, being on gas and doing security isn't a good mix

[ 2011.03.05 20:52:34 ] Javen Kai > exactly..

[ 2011.03.05 20:53:14 ] Javen Kai > im not sure how the finacials would work out

[ 2011.03.05 20:54:37 ] Javen Kai > it would only be profitable if operations could be run consistantly.

[ 2011.03.05 20:54:52 ] Miura Bull > you'd have to speak to Sard Caid tbh

[ 2011.03.05 20:54:56 ] Miura Bull > about a fee

[ 2011.03.05 20:55:06 ] Firelight Morgenstern > but I can also handle contracts

[ 2011.03.05 20:55:37 ] Firelight Morgenstern > some guy the other week paid me 500 million and I sat with him in low-sec for 2 weeks, non-stop so he could mine the ores out there

[ 2011.03.05 20:55:42 ] Firelight Morgenstern > he was happy

[ 2011.03.05 20:55:51 ] Firelight Morgenstern > he paid me 250 up front and 250 after

[ 2011.03.05 20:56:56 ] Javen Kai > i doubt we could afford that right now but i am interested

[ 2011.03.05 20:57:18 ] Firelight Morgenstern > well you said you was rich from sleeper sites?

[ 2011.03.05 20:57:20 ] Javen Kai > we spent it on battleships but either way.. you guys talk to people

[ 2011.03.05 20:57:25 ] Javen Kai > i have to leave.. will let you know about the deposit

[ 2011.03.05 20:57:33 ] Firelight Morgenstern > what I did offer one customer was a trial period, no obligation

[ 2011.03.05 20:57:49 ] Firelight Morgenstern > ok, well we have your number..... call us sometime

[ 2011.03.05 20:58:37 ] Firelight Morgenstern > we could sort a free trial where i protect your lowsec mining op or something, let me know

[ 2011.03.05 20:58:47 ] Javen Kai > we will talk again

[ 2011.03.05 20:58:54 ] Firelight Morgenstern > o7 fly safe

[ 2011.03.05 20:59:09 ] Javen Kai > but definatly give it some thought.. we could all make some isk by working together..

[ 2011.03.05 20:59:16 ] Firelight Morgenstern > damned right

[ 2011.03.05 20:59:24 ] Miura Bull > o7 see you

[ 2011.03.05 20:59:35 ] Javen Kai > fly safe boys.. next time hopefuly we can meet again side by side without guns pointed at each other


LOLOL he left at this point.

[ 2011.03.05 20:59:59 ] Saftsuze > OMG

[ 2011.03.05 21:00:02 ] Firelight Morgenstern > OMG

[ 2011.03.05 21:00:07 ] Saftsuze > LOL

[ 2011.03.05 21:00:14 ] Firelight Morgenstern > I AM SO GOING TO ARRANGE TO RAPE HIS MINING FLEET AFTER TAKING HIS ISK

[ 2011.03.05 21:00:18 ] Firelight Morgenstern > lol

[ 2011.03.05 21:00:55 ] Saftsuze > Man, you gotta keep up this through evemails. Always bet on stupid!

[ 2011.03.05 21:01:46 ] Firelight Morgenstern > hopefully he will meet me in lowsec with his fleet, would make a perfect ending to the story . .

[ 2011.03.05 21:02:42 ] Saftsuze > OMG - marc is back in parts

[ 2011.03.05 21:03:06 ] Saftsuze > /emote is switching to a scanning ship

[ 2011.03.05 21:03:16 ] Miura Bull > mahahaha


A few weeks later Firelight arranged a cut-price fee for his 'protection services' - a deposit of 150 million isk. He then pressed the block button.




MB.

8 comments:

  1. ROTFL Absolute gold would def read again, also when we does the security op start ^^

    ReplyDelete
  2. Smack after is almost as fun, if not even more than the actuall fights in many cases :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fucking hilarious setup!
    Marks random comments in between just crack me up

    Javen Kai > mostly those kills are from our industrials getting ganked

    This is pure gold!

    Javen Kai > we arent carebears.. but we dont make our money pirate we do it the hard knuckle way

    WHAT is his definition of people who avoid pvp and gather masses of ISK?

    Good going on the 150mio deposit, the ninja blog pack would be so proud of you. I wish Firelight could post the resulting local smack here too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Shame you blocked, could have had more tears!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I held in my diet Pepsi unti this:
    [ 2011.03.05 20:14:11 ] Firelight Morgenstern > brb guys tamagotchi needs feeding

    Excellent read. Thanx for the lulz.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Quote .....I couldn't really keep up the pretence as the guy bored me silly when discussing details of security etc..... so I just said to him look ' we need a deposit to take things further' and I just cut and run after my wallet flashed.

    Firelight Morgenstern. Aged 16 3/4.

    ReplyDelete
  7. In Russia, your Security shoots you!

    I was hoping for a more violent turnout, something like the insides of his second mining Hurricane posted on your KB. All because I cannot read, when you said "hit the block button" my triggerhappy brain took over and interpreted it as "he hit the lock button", while my hand reached for more popcorn.

    Anyway, wallet flashing = so owned on a level he will be mad about for weeks! Upon hearing the name Firelight Morgenstern it will raise his blood pressure for long long time :)

    Makes me want to convo him and offer some security just to read the sweet angry repliez.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ohm's Law's19 May 2011 at 10:50

    ahh yes i have met javen kai when he was noob and stole my can, i introduced him to the ways of the aggro timer, 3 times lol, got the same sort of response aswell, had it up for my bio for a bit tbh, mite be worth finding him again

    ReplyDelete