Against the Gods

A Proteus appears on the directional scanner, what ship am I in? Hmm, an Enyo, that'll do. Off I warp into battle. The Enyo dies valiantly. Perhaps an expected death, but the challenge and that niggling thought in the back of the mind that this could be that glorious killmail that has its 15 seconds of fame in a chat channel somewhere, that's what drives the engine of the solo killmail hunter.

The Proteus pilot links the killmail in local. Some kind of victorious taunt? A mocking tone. Somebody responds to the linked killmail. I shrug.

> lol, an Enyo versus a Proteus? Kind of an expected outcome there, no? 

> lol why would you even do that?

Why would you even do that? 

It's difficult to grasp the mentality of some. How can you explain to somebody with Falcon alts, link boats, somebody who hides behind a crowd and has a risk-averse can not lose mentality why you would even do that? I would have personally felt uncomfortable warping in a Proteus on an Enyo. Sure, I wouldn't turn down that opportunity if circumstances permitted me the chance, but that's not how I get my kicks. I guess, what I am saying is I won't ever turn down easy killmails, but that's not the drug I crave. Easy ganks are my cigarettes to my crystal meth challenging killmails. 

I have said this many times before but I do feel that I am playing a completely different game to the majority. The challenge of this entire game comes down to me and how I perform by the virtue of my actions on a strictly individual basis. I am an anti-social loner with a machine gun. Hell, being in a gang is somewhat alien to me, it makes me twitch. I still find it difficult to grasp that there are people out there who have never tasted that sweet milk of the solo killmail. What a buzz. 

I feel for those people. 

Okay, no I don't.

I have to respect them, respect that this twisted hardcore mode that a few of us have selected, this broken path, is not to everyone's taste. You will lose a lot of ships as you chase those dreams. Make no mistake. I like to look at a lot of killboards. If I see somebody with 6000 kills and 83 losses and then I look at a guy with 500 killmails and 750 losses. The pilot I have the most respect for is the guy with the 750 losses. He is doing it right.

I was in an Algos and I spotted a Hyperion in a mission. I am not the type to switch ships to do the job better. Ain't nobody got time fo'dat. I jumped right on in. I died. Did that bother me? Certainly not. I jumped into a Rifter (the only ship I had left in system), and went back for round two but the Hyperion had gone. I was happy with my efforts. That was THE challenge. Losing a ship in the process was the icing on the cake.

I understand these words will be somewhat gibberish to some.

Sometimes the magic happens and everything falls into place and the hard work pays off. 

I can remember jumping into a Curse on gate in my Jaguar. I spotted the sebo animation running and thought it odd. As I hit warp I was immediately locked up and scrammed. I overheated my nos and killed the fucker. 

That felt good. 

Killing really bad battlecruisers and battleships in frigs, piloted by pilots who overestimate the power of their ships is bread and butter these days, but some people would never take that challenge. 

I can recall fondly those moments of killing Daredevils and Dramiels in Rifters, taking  down a Loki in a Wolf, things like that. There's no better feeling than those times when you kill a Hawk or an Enyo in an Atron, or a Vengeance in your Rifter. Yeah that gets the shakes going. That's the drug. 

Stuff like that is what makes me 'lol why would you even do that'. 

MB.